When You're In the Dark
by haternotalover
Summary: After Adam's tragic death, Eli  isn't sure where his life will go or how it will end. But after he meets the quirky blue-eyed journalist with a mysterious past, will things finally be okay?
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi**

**Prologue**

Once upon a time, in a world filled with tragedy and sadness, there were two people. One was a boy. He had been through his share of hardships, things that a person so young should never have to deal with. Sometimes he thought those hardships would never end. But they did, and slowly, he was able to get over them.

The girl also had some troubles when she was younger; with an abusive father, she was sure no one would ever love her. She held onto her Christian faith, however, and was finally able to leave her father and her old life behind for college.

What happens when these two people, seemingly damaged beyond repair, meet?


	2. Dead!

**Chapter One**

"_If life ain't just a joke, then why are we laughing? If life ain't just a joke, then why am I dead?"_

**Dead!, My Chemical Romance**

I opened my eyes. The bright fluorescent lights stung and I shut them for a little bit, adjusting. I was lying in a strange bed; cold metal bars lined the sides and the bottom. I tried to stretch my toes out touch the bottom bar. _Ouch_. A sharp pain radiated from the middle of my shin and filled my entire body. I flinch and another twinge of pain shot through my arm.

There was movement to my right. I looked, careful not to move anything other than my head in case I had more injuries. My mom is standing over me. "Eli? Eli, are you awake?" There's a smile on her face. She looked the same as the last time I saw her: dirty blonde, eccentric hair and makeup. Her eyes are more tired than usual, though still bright with happiness.

"Um… yeah." I responded. "Where am I?" I ask. "What happened?"

CeCe looked around the room. "I should probably wait until Bullfrog gets back. He just went home to grab my jacket. It's chilly in here." She glanced around awkwardly, probably looking for a way to escape the conversation.

"Why would he need to be here? Is something wrong?" I started to become frantic. A series of beeps I hadn't noticed until now went off, small intervals between each one. That's when it clicked for me. "Why am I in the hospital?" I asked, surprised.

CeCe shifted her weight and glanced nervously at the door. She turned back to me and said, "You got in a fight, Baby Boy. It was pretty bad. Adam was there too." She stopped.

"Is he okay? Where is he?" I asked, suddenly worried.

She moved her eyes again to the door and back to me. "He—His injuries were pretty severe and… he didn't make it. The doctors tried—"

"Shut up!" I cut her off angrily, completely in shock, unable to comprehend. "I don't want to hear anymore. Can you just leave?"

CeCe turned on her heel and left the room, tears filling her eyes and spilling down her cheeks along the way. I just lay in bed. My mind was a jumble of thoughts. _Adam, dead. Me, damaged, but still breathing. _

_Dead._

_Alive._

They were such funny words, dead and alive.

_Alive, alive, alive, alive, alive._

_Dead, dead, dead, dead, dead._

They were such funny words. Dead. That one word, and suddenly someone is gone from your life forever. You will never get to see them, or hear their laugh, or the stupid things they say. Alive. With that, you've got a whole future ahead of you. It may last 2 days or 2 years or however long it takes, but you've still got a future.

Adam doesn't and I do. Simple as that, but yet so complicated.


	3. Camisado

**I'm really excited for this story. Please tell me what you think, even if you think this story is awful. Constructive or praising, I love reviews.**

**Chapter Two**

"_The IV and your hospital bed, this was no accident, this was a therapeutic chain of events."_

**Camisado, Panic! At the Disco**

It was two days of hell.

The visitors were constant, questioning and pushy, and CeCe wouldn't leave me alone. I couldn't do anything by myself.

But the thing that _really_ got to me were the reporters. They were lined up outside of my room, notebooks and pens in hand, waiting to get the scoop on "the guy who didn't die in that fight". The questions were unanswerable. It's not like they were difficult or required much thinking, but my head, so filled with questions of my own, was unable to come up with responses. I still had no idea what happened that night. There were flashes of memories here and there: three guys dressed in black and the back of Adam's head. Nothing good enough to let me know what really happened.

The reporters were nothing special, just people looking for a story when, really, there wasn't one. They were usually men, dressed smartly with professional looks and attitudes. But, there was one reporter who, despite her completely invading my privacy with her questions, stuck out to me.

She walked in, head held high, cinnamon curls bouncing against her white, long-sleeved sweater. Her expression was professional just like the others, but there was a softness to her face that I hadn't seen in any of them. She had a small figure, but with curves and her eyes were a striking shade of blue. _She looks like she needs protecting_, I thought.

"Hi, Mr. Goldsworthy, I'm sure you're tired of answering questions today, so let's make this quick and I'll be out of your hair." Her words, despite her sharp tone, were somehow comforting to me. She walked over to the right side of my hospital bed and asked to sit down.

"Sure." I said and gingerly patted the open space o the bed near my knees. She took her seat and reached down into the bag that was hanging on her shoulder. The sleeves of her sweater went up when she did this. I wasn't sure if I saw correctly, but after closing my eyes for a few seconds and looking again, I knew for sure. She definitely had bruises on both of her wrists, some new and deep purple, but others old and yellowing.

I contemplated asking her about them while she rummaged through her large red bag, but decided against it. _Her life is none of your business. Anyway, I don't even know her name,_ I thought. She sat up and q

"So, Mr. Goldsworthy—"

"Eli." I corrected her.

"So, Eli, what can you tell me about what happened with your friend Adam?" She stared down at me.

I stared at my hands. All of the conversations with the reporters were awkward, but with this woman the feeling was almost a tangible substance because of what I saw on her wrists. Her bruises worried me for some reason, although I really had no reason to be concerned. _Her life is none of your business, _I told myself again.

"Eli?" she questioned. The professional look was gone, replaced by an expression filled with concern. "Is there anything you can tell me?" Her hand stretched out and rested gently on my arm. I looked down and saw the discoloration on her wrists again.

"I don't—I don't know. I can barely remember anything. I get snippets of things, but nothing important or substantial." I peeked up at her face and half-smirked, even though there was nothing funny about our topic of conversation.

She nodded."You're absolutely sure you don't remember anything?" She asked. I shook my head. "Okay then, well, I'll leave my card and you can call me if you remember anything, okay?"

She pulled a card out of her purse and put it on the table next to the bed.

"It was nice meeting you." She said as she stood up.

"You too."

She walked out of the room.

I turned to my side and grabbed the card.

It read:

_Clare Edwards, Journalist_

There was a phone and fax number below it.

_So her name is Clare, _I thought. _ Pretty name. Pretty eyes._

**Twitter: omgitssierraj**

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**Thanks for reading!**


	4. The Mortician's Daughter

**Hey there! If you're reading chapter three of this then thank you for sticking with me so far. I've posted two chapters in two days, I think this is a new record for me.**

**Chapter Three**

"_I open my lungs, dear, I sing this song at funerals, no rush."_

**The Mortician's Daughter, Black Veil Brides**

I hadn't touched Clare's card since I was released from the hospital a week before. I still had it, but it was just collecting dust in a pocket of my wallet. I was staying with my parents while my leg healed and with CeCe hovering constantly over me, it was hard to do anything alone.

It's not like I was looking forward to calling Clare; I had only met her once and the only reason she came to talk to me was to invade my privacy. But there was something about her that, in the few minutes I talked to her, drew me in. It may have been her demeanor which, despite her professional attitude, was still caring when she saw I was having a problem, or it may have been the fact that I saw the marks on her wrists, something I probably wasn't supposed to see.

Whatever the reason, I decided to call her. I reached into my wallet and pulled out the business card. I grabbed the phone that was sitting beside me and dialed the number.

"Hello?" she answered after the third ring.

"Um, hey. It's me, Eli. I don't know if you remember me but you interviewed me" I coughed; I sounded too nervous.

"Oh, hello Eli, of course I remember you. What can I do for you?" Her voice was kind of tired. _Maybe she had a late night or something, _I thought.

"Well, I wanted to tell you that I remembered some of what happened with Adam, the fight and stuff, I mean."

"Oh? Okay, cool! Let me just grab my laptop and we can get started." On the other side of the conversation, I heard her shuffling papers. Then she said, "I'm ready now. Go ahead."

I took a deep breath and began. "We were walking—Adam and I— suddenly there were these two guys in front of us. I don't know how but they knew about Adam, what he was. And they were yelling things at him like 'Tranny' and 'Fag'—one minute." My voice was choking up. Adam had only been dead for a week; I wasn't over it and it still really hurt.

"It's fine." Clare said compassionately. "Take all the time you need."

Her voice was soothing to me. I took a deep, calming breath and continued. "And Adam was yelling at them and stuff, and then they were just on top of us, punching and kicking us. Adam was screaming and I was screaming and then they just ran off." I paused, trying to recall more. "I'm sorry, that's all I remember."

"That was great, actually. Thanks." She said. "So how've you been since then?"

I shrugged, even though she couldn't see it. "Off the record or on?"

"Off."

"I've been okay. My leg hurts and so does my head, but not as bad as they did last week. What about you? I mean, I barely know anything about you."

There was silence on the other line.

"Clare?"

I strained my hearing to see if maybe she was just speaking quietly or something. I heard a faint voice, but it was deeper than Clare's, more like a man's.

"Alli, I'm gonna have to go. Call you tomorrow?" She said frantically.

"What? I'm Eli." I answered, confused.

"Okay, bye!"

_What the hell just happened?_ I thought.

**Gracias for reading and reviewing!**


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